My roommate has been trying to get a job as a cocktail waitress at a strip club ever since I have known her. Though I believed it to be some strange fascination for working around naked women, I soon found out that it was the idea of making a lot of money with the smallest amount of work. I on the other hand have never even contemplated working at one, except for those times when I was drunk off my ass and my friends dragged me out to a strip club. Then I was all about being a stripper, until the next morning when I all I wanted to do was take some aspirin and a shower.
So when a position opened up at a “nice” strip club, my roommate jumped on it. I at the time had been looking for an after hours job to supplement my lousy income. So when she told me they still had positions available, I jumped on it too. I went in to the club on Cheshire Bridge Rd. and asked for a job as a cocktail waitress.

The club itself is pretty nice, one of the classier type clubs, nothing like those Florida jobs, not like I have ever been in one. The manager said that she didn’t have any waitress positions available (a line I found out later used to encourage me to dance) and asked if I wanted to dance. She told me that the dancers there average $1,000 a night. Wow, I could have my dept paid off in 32 days! But I said “No”.

“Well we can start you out as a shooter girl and then if you hate it you can wait tables.” I thought- sure how bad can it be, I just go around and sell shots. Apparently I am a little naïve when it comes to strip clubs. She told me to come in at 9pm on Thursday and that the shooter girls wear whatever they want just like the dancers. So on Thursday I walked in in my sexy outfit and was introduced to the bar back who then handed me a tray of shots. “The shots are five dollars each- you get to keep two dollars of each shot you sell and whatever tips you get” and then he sent me on my way. There were no other shooter girls that night, no one to show me around- nothing. I managed to sell a couple of shots right a way by playing the -this is my first night I have no idea what I am doing routine.

I have no problem getting on stage and acting as another character, but somehow this was different. I couldn’t quite put on the ‘act.’

Finally a girl that worked there as a shooter girl came in with her girlfriend and tried to school me in the proper way to do things. For those that don’t know, a shooter girl walks around with a tray of shots in test tubes, when a guy or a girl asks her for a shot she is then to ‘perform’ with this test tube. The usual performance consists of acting as if you are giving a blowjob to the test tube, rubbing it on your body, shaking your butt in their face or crotch then delivering the shot from in between your breasts.

I’m sorry, but I am not putting my ass in people’s faces like that. I have difficulty acting sexy with someone I am actually having sex with; much less a complete stranger I would normally have nothing to do with. Even though I found out later that it is actually easier to put on an act with someone you are not attracted to. Strange how that works, I guess it is the nothing to lose mentality.

Luckily the shooter girl and her girlfriend ended up buying a lot of shots from me in order to demonstrate. Then there was the “I’m not an asshole” guy, the “I have a wife and a brand new baby come to my hotel room” guy, and of course the “I don’t usually come to strip clubs” guy. These guys all gladly parted with their money in order to have a moment of my time.

The worst or the best depending on how you look at it was when three of my friends came in. I was mortified. Come on what is the coincidence of that? My first night, I told no one of what I was doing.
I thought about hiding.
I thought about running home crying.
Then I decided to make the best out of a horrible experience.

I went up to them and was like “Hey guys.” I think they were more embarrassed then I was. I told them about this being my first and last night and how I just wanted to leave. They were like “you’re like our little sister, granted sexy little sister, but little sister nonetheless.” They made me sit with them for the rest of the night and bought shots from me without me having to do anything. So I just hung out with them like I usually do. That was until strippers started coming over and asking the guys to buy them shots from me. My friends wouldn’t even watch- it was cute. Then some guy kept sending strippers over to get me and was threatening to beat up my guy friends. Class. Yeah, he was a winner.

If I had a low opinion of men before, it has now lowered 50% more. I will not be doing that again!!!! Tonight I cocktail waitress so hopefully it won’t be so bad.

I don’t know how any one does it. My best friend- Scott worked at the end-all be-all strip club- The Gold Club- as a bartender back in the day. I know it sounds like any guys dream job to work at a strip club, but if I was a guy and I did that I would never want to sleep with a woman again much less trust one. Maybe that explains why we are just “best friends.” He hates that I work at one now.

I have been waiting tables there for about 2 months now… it is getting better. I am learning how to make money and how to fend off advances. One of the good things that has come out of this so far is that I now have no qualms about going up to a complete male stranger and talking to him.
This whole experience for me has been a lesson in humiliation and even though I get told every night I work there that I am the best looking girl there, I can feel my confidence and self worth slipping away from me and as I approach thirty it is a horribly painful place to be. But the bills still need paying and the dogs still need food.